Thursday, February 09, 2006

Where has the King of all Ryan's Been?

You know you're asking yourself that question! Sorry about the week long absence. I do most of my posts during work and my pc has been on the move lately, allowing me to not post. Stay tuned for more posts to pick up on Monday or maybe over the weekend, but probably Monday. I try and spend some time away from the pc over the weekend.

Until then...get your dose of me with my review of King Kong. Missed the 3, yes THREE, hour long movie? Well you might just be able to pain your ass lucky! You'll see what I mean after the review.

So I got around to seeing King Kong. It was free for me, so what the heck right? Wrong! This movie sucked 60-year-old-man ASS! First on the list of how much monkey crap this movie sucked was how predictable it was. Yeah, sure, it's a remake and you should know what is going to happen. But I never saw the original, just the pics of Kong up on the Empire State building. I think it was just too much of an action flick so the director dude, maybe you have heard of him, Peter Jackson, thought he could just skip the whole "making of a plot" part of the movie. Or maybe I was too board off my ass to catch one. Yeah, I think that’s what it was, because I think the plot was this little blond chick was hot for the 25 foot tall monkey. Which leads me to my next point of why this movie sucked crap through a 35 foot long hose of crap: "Jungle Fever!" No, not that jungle fever, I'm talkin 'bout the real jungle fever! This entire movie was all about how hot this chick was for this friggin monkey! Think I’m just talking trash because I have a blog? You couldn't be further from the truth. There is a scene in the movie where her and Kong are ice skating... ICE SKATING!!! And they are doing it in Manhattan! This is the point where I was pretty much done with the movie, but no, there was still like an hour left! They still had to kill the thing.

I'm not taking an entirely bad stand on the movie though. The acting was great, and Jack Black rocks, and the action was great. But all of that put together can't keep a movie together for 3 full hours. That movie would have been a lot better, maybe even great, if they kept it under 2 hours. And it also wouldn’t have killed off an entire evening for me after the kids went to bed. But hey, if you can see it for free, check it out and you'll see what I mean. Maybe throw it on your list of back-up movies on your net flicks account or something. Just don't go sayin I didn't warn you.

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